Africa Travel Guide: Nambia

The famous country of Nambia is the greatest nation in Africa. Have you been? You really must go. Now I know what you’re thinking, Nambia, is that even a country? Well of course it is, President Trump does not make misteaks. He doesn’t just make up countries. If you don’t know about Nambia that is sad, so sad. Lucky for you, we’re here to tell you all about it.

Where is Nambia?

Nambia is somewhere in Africa. We cannot tell you where exactly, because Africa is such a big place. There are so many countries in Africa, too many actually. Some people say there are 50 countries in Africa! Fifty, can you believe that? That means there are more countries in Africa than states in America. It’s too many actually. We can’t know all of these countries, nobody can, but we do know about Nambia.

Nambia shares borders with so many countries. This happens a lot in Africa, because there are so many countries and actually, so many borders. Can you imagine how many people there must be in Africa? Some say there are one billion. One. Billion. I don’t know if I believe it, but that’s what they say.

There are so many countries in Africa, which is why the maps are so big.

The most famous nation next to Nambia is Zamunda. You might know this country for its famous Prince, Akeem, who once came to America. We thought he was a good man because he was so rich, but it turned out that he was actually a weak man, very lightweight. His father, a very good and strong man, was king of the Sith Empire and came from another country called Tatooine.

Another country next to Nambia is Nibia. They sound the same, don’t they, Nambia, Nibia, Nibia, Nambia, it’s so funny. Nibia is where the Wachootoo and Wachati tribes live, with their famous white bat. A white bat, can you believe it? Who ever heard of a white bat? In 1995 they almost had a war in Nibia when their bat was stolen. The United States sent Jim Carrey to help them, and he fixed it. Nobody knows how he did it, because he is such a fake and weak man, maybe he just got lucky.

The other countries near Nambia are Bangalla, Genosha, and Wakanda. They all have such strange names, don’t they? African countries sound so funny and are hard to remember. It’s almost like they were just made up.

What is the capital of Nambia?

Lushoek is the capital of Nambia, and is the most tremendous city in Africa. There are so many people living there. Nobody knows how many, but it’s a big number. Some people say there might be 10 million people there. Ten million people, can you imagine that?

Did you know that President Trump visited Nambia in 2017? Most people don’t know that, because the Fake News Media don’t want to report it, but it’s true. When President Trump visited, there were the biggest crowds ever for an American President. More than anybody else in history! The number is so big that you won’t even believe it. President Trump has become a great friend of the Nambians, and nobody loves Nambia more than him.

Did you know they play golf in Lushoek? It has the biggest and best golf course in all of Africa! The course does not have lions or elephants, so there is no danger. But if you want to see some, well, their heads are on display in the clubrooms. When President Trump visited Nambia he got the best score ever by an American President. It was so much better than Obama’s score, and he is African, so he should play better there. But he is so weak, and really, such a terrible golfer.

Barack Hussein Obama, the worst President to ever play golf, so weak and so sad.

Who is the President of Nambia?

The President of Nambia is called Mr. Bigly Covfefe. He is such a great guy, and such a strong and powerful man. He is not weak, like Sleepy Joe. Bigly Covfefe might just be the greatest President that Africa has ever had. He is almost as good as Putin, but not quite that good, how could anybody be so strong and powerful like him?

President Covfefe is rarely seen in public, and that’s because he has so much work to do. Nambia is surrounded by so many weak countries. Africa is full of weak countries, where they steal elections and are overrun by Antifa and the Woke Fake News Media. But not in Nambia.

Covfefe is building a wall. Did you know that? Most people don’t know that. He is building a wall to protect Nambia. He is such a busy man, and spends all his time working hard, and making money. He has so much money, they call it emoluments. Emoluments, most people have never heard of that word. But Covfefe, he needs all this money so he can Make Nambia Great Again©.

What food do they eat in Nambia?

The food in Nambia is so tremendous. It’s not like other African countries. Many African countries have nasty food. It’s so nasty. Some people say they eat the dogs, and they eat the cats. You wouldn’t believe it if I told you. Did you know that Nambia was the first African country to have McDonald’s?! It’s true, they have the biggest and best McDonald’s in all of Africa. President Trump even visited their McDonald’s and said it was one of the best he has ever been to.

Nambians love President Trump, so much. More than any other President.

When should I go to Nambia?

Nambia is such a nice place to visit at any time of year. Sometimes it rains and it is always hot. Actually, all of Africa is so hot. You wouldn’t believe how hot it is there. It’s probably the hottest country on earth. Much hotter than California or Florida. They need more air conditioning in Nambia and Bigly Covfefe is working on that.

You might not know it, but many Americans go to Nambia. Yes, it’s true! Why do they go there? They go to Nambia to get rich. There are so many poor people in Africa, but it is actually so easy to get rich. You can make millions of dollars in Africa, even billions.

The richest man in the world is from Africa.

What else do I need to know?

Well, you know Nambia is in Africa and that it’s a great country. President Covfefe, a very strong and powerful man, says it’s the greatest country in all of Africa. You know you can make lots of money there and you know you can eat at McDonald’s.

Unlike most African countries, those other weak nations, Nambia is very safe. It is the most safe actually. President Covfefe has destroyed the Radical Left and all the Fake News Media in Nambia, and there has never been a war there. It’s true. No wars, ever. There are so many wars in Africa, too many actually, but Nambia is a peaceful country. Nambia is also the healthiest country. They never had the China virus. Amazing! Zero cases, zero cases of the China virus.

All these amazing and true facts are what makes Nambia is the greatest country in Africa.

You really should go!